I have really struggled with today’s post. A few weeks ago, I posted that we had decided on adopting from China. That was it. It was decided and we were happy. I had selected a wonderful agency – Lifeline, and we had made all of the BIG decisions and the next step would be just to start filling out the paperwork early next year. Then as I began making more and more phone calls, it became clear to us that China was just not going to work out for our particular family and situation.
I tried many different ways to make it work, but it didn’t. That made me question everything. If not China, where? Over the last few weeks, I have spent a lot of time in prayer. I have spent a lot of time just questioning our judgement and why we were so convinced that it was China.
Thankfully, a few weeks ago, Daniel and I were at church and attended a class on Acts. It was a sermon series done by David Platt and in the session he was discussing his own family’s adoption story. He talked about how there are some things that God “commands” and those things we just do. We don’t wait around for a big sign to tell us to do them. He already made it very clear that as Christians we are to do them. For example – “Husbands love your wives.” – etc…
Platt was discussing how initially he and his wife felt that they were to adopt. So, they set out to do that. They got out a map and prayed that God would show them where they should adopt from. He said they felt very much that it was Nepal. So they got everything together and then sent all of their information and paperwork to Nepal and then Nepal shut down their international adoptions. He said they were very confused and they waited two years I think is what he said. Finally, they decided they would go another route so they put in to adopt from China. So they have one set of papers sitting in Nepal and one set of papers sitting in China.
So, why does this story give me hope? Well, because even David Platt, one of the most awesome God fearing men I have ever seen, is just walking in faithfulness following where the Lord is leading and God is directing their steps. That’s what I feel like is going on with us. We are walking in faithfulness. We are saving every extra penny. We are doing what He commands and trusting that he will direct us where we should go.
Over the last two weeks, we have been researching other options. We have been praying a lot. I made lots of calls. Some lasted an hour and some lasted less, but I have learned a great deal of wonderful information about South Korea.
It turns out that South Korea’s adoption program is very different from China’s program. Almost all of China’s special needs children are in orphanages. In South Korea, most of the children are in foster homes until their forever families can be found. In China, many babies are left in public places – parks or police station steps. In Korea, many of the birthmothers are unwed and very young and they have been through counseling and have decided that adoption is the best thing for their baby and for themselves.
When adopting from South Korea, there are very very good medical records and all of the child’s background information and medical information will be provided to us. This is very different from China where the children are found and there is no information on them or their families.
Have you heard of God winks? One man wrote a book about them. Basically He wrote that things that happen to us do not happen by accident but that they are God directed. That basically God is using this situation or person or thing to show us the way to go and to trust Him or to give us reassurance that we are on the right path.
Well, I have a friend that I met through my old job. She has a sister who just adopted this year from South Korea. I asked my friend if her sister might be able to talk with me and within a day her sweet sister was on the phone telling me all kinds of advice, information and things to be aware of. We talked for a LONG time and it was so helpful to hear a real person telling her real truthful story about their adoption. By the way, their situation is currently VERY HARD. I don’t think it was an accident that I was on the phone with her. I think I needed to hear that all things in adoption aren’t rainbows and butterflies. It didn’t scare me away at all, but I certainly have eyes wide open and want to do lots of research and reading to be prepared for whatever the situation might be once the child comes home.
Secondly, I did a random Google search the other day. I think I put in, “boy, south Korea, adoption (or something similar).” Next thing I know a blog pulls up and I am just looking through it. The guy looked to be my age and his profile picture showed that he was Asian. He had worked for Johnson and Johnson, FOX, News Corp and other places. So, I kept reading through his blog. I found out that he had been adopted as a baby. He was brought to America. Then as I kept looking he had videos of his trip to South Korea to meet his birth mother. He had pictures of himself with a twin brother that he had recently found out about. Then he had another post about how he and his wife were going to be adopting from China.
Hmmm…the other cool thing was that this guy was all about Jesus…for real. You could just tell by everything he wrote and how he wrote it that he was in love with the Lord and everything else plays second fiddle. One of his posts was about finding out that his Korean name (well at least what he thought was his Korean name) his whole life had actually been messed up in processing and he had always thought his name was one thing, but it was actually another. This was a HUGE blow for him to find out late in life.
So, I took it upon myself to send this cool “online” guy a nice little note and to thank him for sharing his story. I told him that he gave me so much hope. I told him about us and that we were planning to adopt a from South Korea. He writes back, “Awesome!” It was so neat. Anyways, we end up typing a few emails back and forth. I even got to ask him what to do about the child’s name. Do I leave it Korean? Give the child an American name or do a smash up of the two and he even gave me great advice on that as well. I definitely took this to be a God Wink situation. Just the fact that I stumbled on this random guy adopted from South Korea and that he is so full of God and then…here is the kicker. He asks me who we are planning to use for our adoption. I say Holt. He writes back and says, “my dad is the chairman of Holt.” What????! Random! Awesomeness! Call me crazy but God just puts people in our paths for a reason. Whether it is google or some other way, I just couldn’t help but to whisper a little “thank you God” under my breath for giving me the opportunity to pick this guy’s brain.
Well, I guess that is all I have to say right now. I am just overwhelmed by God’s goodness. I keep thinking about a little Korean boy (or girl) sitting around our table in the next few years. What a beautiful thought.
Until next time…