Kicked in the stomach

Well, that title pretty much explains how this last week has felt. One week ago, we were elated. We were so excited to have been accepted into the Korea program. Then about 9 days later it all comes crashing down.

For the last few months, I had been on several Facebook boards for Korea adoptive parents. I also had joined a Yahoo group as well. So, I had been getting lots of information, but it wasn’t until after we had applied that I got some very different information from anything I had heard previously.

Posters in the last week began to talk about the Korea program moving to a two trip process. Then I read that they are going to go Hague. Then I read that not one family had been submitted to court in almost 7 months and that the entire system is completely backlogged. These were all things that had not been shared with me, but were all but confirmed with a quick email to the agency. FRUSTRATING is an understatement.

I knew that new laws had been put in place. I didn’t realize that not one family had ever been submitted to court and made it through since those laws were passed. No one had EVER said anything about it changing to a two trip process (with high probability and much more of an added expense). Additionally the last conversation I had with someone at the agency was that they didn’t think the country would try to move to Hague anytime soon. Now that story is different too.

I feel the need to point out that the majority of the research that I did was done between June 2012 and October 2012. Many of the changes I am discussing happened after this time frame. I am not bashing Holt in any way. I should have called again and rehashed all of our previous discussions prior to applying, but since I am new at this whole adoption thing…I didn’t know to call back and rehash all of the things that I had been told previously. So, I would like to blame the majority of this on myself because if I had called and asked the right questions or known what to ask…we might not have had this happen.

It doesn’t matter that I had even contacted a well known adoption attorney to confirm that Korea would be a good choice for our family. She probably was right. It would be a good choice if we had 10k to cover an ADDITIONAL trip for two people to go to Korea for a second time. Or if we could know that we weren’t about to get stuck in the middle of a non-Hague to Hague nightmare. I know with any adoption this type of thing can happen, but I just don’t feel comfortable moving forward with this much uncertainty right now.

So, we are really really frustrated and feel like we need to start over. So, here we go. Praying that God will show us what to do and where to go. We have some ideas, but we definitely were heartbroken this week. My heart already fell in love with Korea. RATS is all I have to say about that.

I read on another blog the other day about the GIANTS that adoptive parents face when going through this process. He listed them as financial and then just the overall process and the ups and downs and the changes that come so very fast.

God has placed this on our hearts and we aren’t giving up that easily…

I guess I could look at this and think…wow…that is a year of waiting and 8 solid months of research wasted and no telling how many hours of phone calls OR I could look at this as ONE STEP CLOSER to finding our sweet little precious person that we haven’t found yet.

So I am choosing to look at it as one step closer…but it doesn’t make it any easier of a pill to swallow. I appreciate your prayers for us as we once again ask for direction and guidance in this process. Trust me, there were many times I just thought about not sharing this at all. I really did. Why would anyone need to know this? Why not just wait until everything is all ironed out? Well, I guess because that is not how this process goes. It doesn’t come all wrapped up with a little bow at the end. So, here we are…just starting over, but not completely over. We were only using Holt because we needed to for Korea. I think we will start fresh with a new agency and I have more than one that I would love to use for our adoption.

I am asking to join a new yahoo group for another country so I can get more details and then I will let you all know the deal!

Thanks for your prayers. This week has STUNK big time but we will be ok because of God’s faithfulness and all of you guys! Here’s to pressing forward.

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One thought on “Kicked in the stomach

  1. Oh, Jenna… I’m so sorry!! I can’t imagine how hard that must be, but I am so proud of you!! We love y’all so much, and we are praying for you in this journey 🙂

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