This week was a blessing. For those who don’t know, my brother lives in Colorado and Brooke (my sister) lives in Dallas, Texas. Alan has a daughter, Molly, and Brooke has two boys – Tatum and Tucker. Since they live so far away and it is so expensive to fly we don’t get to see either of them very often, but my Dad and Mamie decided the best way to get us all in one place at the same time (our kids and all) is to take us to the beach. Since we don’t see them for Christmas or Thanksgiving…this is truly our “special” one-time-a-year to be all together and spend time with my niece and nephews. Well, that special week was this last week. We spent time in Florida at a house my dad rented and we enjoyed it so much. The kids are so happy when their toes can touch the sand. I have decided it is just plain ole good for the soul to see the waves and the expanse of the ocean and just feel small.
I don’t think I really realize how much stress I feel until for a week I put it all aside and I literally just don’t think about it. I didn’t take any forms to fill out. I left all of the grant applications on the counter at home. I didn’t make a phone call to anyone about anything. I literally unplugged emotionally for a week and that felt really really good. I think I needed it more than I even realized. It was so nice to see my brother and see my niece and my sister and my nephews. It just feels good to see your family – especially when it has been such a long time.
So now, it is back to the adoption grind, but that’s ok. I know the blessing at the end of all of this hard work will be a reward better than I could ever imagine. So, we are going to keep plugging along. Since being home, I have made a “to do” list. It is long, but completely doable. Our next big piece of paperwork we are waiting on is our fingerprint appointment in Birmingham. Not sure about the timeline on this, but we will be super excited when we get it because then we will be one step closer to having the dossier complete.
A lot of my thoughts at the beach this year, went to Eliza and what she might look like and whether or not she will enjoy the beach as much as I do. I wonder about how she will look. What her personality might be like. I try to keep from wondering but it is so hard…you just can’t “not” think about her.
Just as a side note, we have been unbelievably blessed with donations. I went to the mailbox today and there were two separate checks for $100 in there (a huge THANK YOU to those two families…you know who you are!!!). I couldn’t even believe it. God just continues to use His people to amaze me. Eliza is His child and He knows Her by name and He knows every hair on her head and He is providing everything we need.
Have we grown spiritually since being on this journey? I would say definitely yes. It has taken more faith than I knew I had. It has taken more hope than I thought I could muster. It has brought Daniel and I closer just because of the prayers that we have been praying and the amount of faith that it takes to keep moving forward. I think when God calls you as a couple and a family to do something like this together…there is no way to walk it and not find yourself closer to each other than you were before the journey began. We look at each other many times a day now and we just smile and know that we share something really special.
As I rocked Ben last night, my thoughts turned to her and I wondered if someone was rocking her too. It is almost too much for me to think about. I try not to go there in my mind. All I need to know is that God sees her. He is holding her every moment that I can’t. So, just pray that my mind won’t wander. Pray that I will rest easy knowing that in the same way that He is holding us…He is sending people to hold her. I truly believe that.
Thanks for reading about our journey. We appreciate all of you so very very much. Your prayers and love mean everything to us.