Oh my word, adoption is hard. I thought with this being my second time through the adoption process that it would feel easier. That I would understand the “bumps” in the road and that I would handle it all with grace and a lot of calm. Well, it didn’t take long after seeing his face for those mother-hen instincts to take over and to start feeling frustrated that he is WAY over there and I am WAY over here.
Wednesday night, I just lost it. There have been some other personal things going on and then the wait for his file was just feeling unbearable. And with the weight of these two very heavy things, I just finally let it all out. I sobbed and sobbed. I felt bad for Daniel because he didn’t know how to make it better and there wasn’t a way to make it better. I just needed to cry.
Until yesterday (Friday), we were waiting for his file to officially arrive at our agency. It has felt like an ultra long 2 months. There was just something very unsettling about knowing he was our child but yet the agency not yet having his file (he is at a partnership orphanage). I was having a really hard time with it. So yesterday when the email came that they finally had his file and that our LOI was officially being uploaded for him I just wanted to squeal! Hooray! Now, we are waiting for our Letter of Acceptace or LOA to arrive. I feel like with the holidays quickly approaching (Thanksgiving & Christmas) that the next couple of months will fly by. I need it to fly by because my heart is aching for my little boy.